suck it, hater.

okay guys...
i have a formspring account :P

please take a look at this comment :

"ok so i knw youre all into taking photos of urself and lemme say the're pretty cool..but i thnk we ALL already know that youve got them big ol fat lips.. try a different face.. try a diet?. there has to be something behind all that makeup u drwn urself in"

it makes me laugh how they said i needah go on a diet :P
okay. diet is DIE with a T.
i like eating.. and noone is gnna stop me...
BIG LIPS, are you jealous?...
i have them angelina jolie lips, BLEACH!
and just to tell you, i take that as a serious compliment.
my face is fine the way it is...
it''s not perfect...
but i really dont wanna change it.

OMG AND LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST,
i dont drown myself in make up.
i wear moisturizer (which is technically not makeup cuz it's FLIPPIN' LOTION FOR THE FACE)
and i wear eyeliner. that's it...
now if you think eyeliner is too much... then you're dumbass...
my eyeliner isnt evn freaking visible...

you know what, my pictures ARE cool.
my lips ARE big.
i AM fat, and i dnt give a poop.
i ONLY put eyeliner on.
so keep on hating, hater...
someone's gottah do it, right?

im not gnna waste my time trying to figure out who the hell you are cuz
you're hating doesn't kill me, it only makes me stronger.






so SUCK THAT.

NOSEBLEED

hey lovesssss

so today, i got a nosebleed (Y)
lmao.
so wierd...
my whole life i've had like 4 nosebleeds...
and this was the 4th one.
wahahahahaha,
my dad says it was cuz my math homework was too much for me -.-"
it was NOT.
evn tho it math WAS making my head hurt >.<
gaaaah.... screw math,
it shall be defeated! :P

anywhooo...
MEL IF YOU ARE READING THIS, GO AWAY!

-.- go read someone else's blog.. you boob!



im suppose to be doing my 1 page essay on science right now..
i havent even started..
lol.
so i shall begin it.... after like 5 minutes :P
goodnight (=

bubble wrap

"i wish i could bubblewrap my heart. In case i fall, and break apart"

im not quite sure what to do next... im pretty sure you're like 10 steps ahead of me.
you've moved on and all.
and im still on the same spot for 4 MONTHS.
wow, i just realized that it's been 4 months exactly today.
SEE?... i can't even keep track of the time because im just focusing on the past!
i kno i shouldnt be doing that, but i can't help it.
Sometimes it just pops into my head.... and it just...stays there for the longest time.
i've tried....getting over you.
it worked for like 2 weeks max.
i tried replacing you with a guy that literally only attracted me by my SHALLOWNESS.
he was hot/cute/goodlooking and all...but i didnt evn know his first name!..
THAT clearly failed.
I remember you telling me that i took a piece of your heart... and you can't seem to get it back...
that was a long time ago.
Now, i think you got that piece back...
and took like 3/4 of my heart with it.
GIVE IT BACK, OR ILL SMASH YOU! >.<
goooooosh,
i feel like punching you in the face.
and be your friend at the same time.
i hate to say that i love you still...
and i really wish i bubble wrapped my heart before you shattered it in a million pieces.
i think all i need is closure.
so here it goes:

I love you. I probably still do. I'm not God, so I can't change what happened to us, what started us, and what ruined us. I have to deal with the fact that all is lost between us. Our bridge has burned down. I have to accept all of that. I'm not even sure about our friendship anymore. I mean, our conversations are mostly just "hi". I think it's for the better though...cuz the less you talk to me, the faster i get over you...right? I'm really sorry for wasting a part of your life. Since you moved on, i have to as well. It's like balancing an equation in math.( eww, nerd) what you do to this side, you also do to the other. That way, we'll be even... Theres something missing in me, like a variable...you know? (eww, anohter nerd comment) which is why i have move on to the next steps and figure it out...so i can be complete again.
and so, this is goodbye <3

reality is not a dream.

so guys...

i just recently found out that i mixed up my dreams with my reality.
BIG MISTAKE.
this was the reason for all the hurt i WAS feeling.

i thought that reality would give me my dreams ...
but it really doesnt.

i shouldnt have thought so much of reality.
i should've known that reality is an unfair bitch.

you never get what you want.
...and when you do, it's too late
or it takes it away from you the moment you enjoy it the most.

I promise i will not confuse these two opposite dimensions of mt life.

REALITY & FANTASY

i learned my lesson, i won't hurt anymore.

blech.

i have no idea if there is difference between ..
CARING.
and
JEALOUSY.

i mean... ofcourse i CARE about what had happened,
im not just gnna forget it like that... actually, it's stuck in my head.
but does that mean im jealous?
cuz i care?
cuz i care TOO MUCH?

eeehhhh,
you're my friend...and i love you.
i CARE about you.

but sometimes i wanna punch you in the face.
LOL.

is that jealousy?
ahhahahahahahahah,
i wanna punch HER in the face too..
but i dont know why :S
she never did anything bad to me...
so, why do i have such strong feelings agaisnt her?
i swear im not controlling this.
but whenever i see her, i wanna punch a locker..

like wth...what's wrong with me?

and sometimes when i see you...and you dont evn look at me...
i wanna go in front of you and slap you in the face while saying "HELLO, IM RIGHT HERE! SAY HI OR SOMETHING! YOU BIG BOLOGNA!"
gooosh.

i keep telling myself it's not jealousy im feeling...
but im not evn sure if im right :S