deca dance

What the hell…

Okay I’m back to ranting about something other than IB

If you are just gonna fucking complain to me about this

Then don’t read it.

Get out marvin. Or mel.

Yesterday was hella hectic.

Even after a French debate and a math test…

Even at the deca dance.

This rant will be the shit that went down at the deca dance.

Well, at the beginning…

I was quite happy.

I mean tnmt was socializing with me? Lol

Iunno…

He hugged me and all that poop

And he was all touchy-feely and talking to me at very random times…

w/e…

then later on, I saw voldy.

After that I was pretty torn between the two of them.

Who will I pursue? Lol

Then I saw tnmt fucking grinding with voldy’s ex.

Lol yeah I know. Double-hit for me.

I tried to brush it off y’know.

I mean why would I take that seriously when everyone is grinding on everyone and I’m grinding on girls =.= lol

But then I saw him being touchy-feely with all these other girls..

..which made me wonder if I’m just one of those girls that he does that to.

I fucking hate being led on.

I hate false hope.

So that kind of confirmed that I do not wanna be affiliated with tnmt…

So that’s done.

But even before that Idk why…

But I was always looking for voldy.

Like…I would just stop dancing for some reason and look around…

This went on for like the whole dance.

Then after the dance…I wanted to say something to him

I wanted to start a conversation.

But then it got so crowded and stuff…

And I couldn’t find him.

So I ended up just going home with nana.

Idk man.

Whenever I try to make an effort, theres always something that’s in the way.

Is this a sign that it’s really not meant to be…

Or…is it just a test?

I have no clue.

oh yah... and i had a dream

it was so damn lucid.

i do not wanna describe it...but

let's just say that voldy was in it...

ugh... i hate this lol

lalalalalalala

Feeling a little shitty today.

i slept at 4am...

and had to wake up at 6:30am for school

then i had to do Development and Peace presentations for 6 classes first thing in the morning...

then i was bombarded with a business test on second period...

idk....

i feel like killing myself right now lol

because of all this damn stress...

but somehow i've grown to like it.

does that even make sense?

i like the fact that i'm always busy.

i like how my mind is always filled with tangled thoughts.

i've realized that having such a crappy life, makes you appreciate the beauty of everything around you even more.

before i was in IB...i thought sleep was so stupid.

i'd stay up late to play games and stuff or just stay up late just because i could...since i had nothing "important" to do...

now, i cherish sleep and it has now become a privilege rather than a right.

I have days that i feel like quitting and just sleeping forever,

but then i realize....for what?

okay i get to sleep

okay i get a social life

okay i get to go on tumblr more often

okay i get to do whatever the hell i want.

but something will always be missing.

i will eventually have to wake up.

i will have to have alone time away from my friends.

i will have to eventually log out of tumblr.

and i will soon run out of things i want to do because i have done them all.

it's all gonna seem so easy and boring.

and rather than being fun, it's going to be a tedious routine.

what's life without little challenges?...

lol wut?