sacrifice.

hello !... So, lent started a couple os days ago & i decided on what i would give up.

first ithought giving up donghae would be easy...but my sister was always tempting me. so that didn't work...
the compuer is my life.. so no....
i just slept this afternoon...so tht goes down the drain too...
wally.....i dnt even care about him no more... so thee isnt any reason to sacrifice him in lent....

so i decided to give up swearing & my phone.

ANYWAY.....

i learned something new today.

viewing old conversations in msn can be very beneficial. (WOW, big word.)

it can make you realize things that you never did when the convo was going on. it's really coooooooool 8D
you people should try it sometime.

i have to go... bye !

실연

WOW, i've noticed that i've been writing in my blog a lot.
...maybe i'm always bored and have nothing to do...
it's like 11 someting at night riight now.
i dnt wanna sleep.

soo much going on at school..
people liking people...
and people NOT liking people.
People asking out people.
& people accepting and rejecting.

as for wally, forget him.
even tho i like him and all...
i have to pay attention to school more ...
i can't just let him invade my whole life like my other crush did.

Oh, LENT IS COMING UP!
okay... maybe u guys know this already, but i'm catholic.
& i wnna give up some things for lent.
i have 4 things in mind.

#1: SLEEPING IN THE AFTERNOON
~okay,.... i always sleep in the afternoon... & it causes me to sleep really late at night. so, i have to stop doing that....i need to do y homework instead of sleeping.

#2: EATING JUNK FOOD
~i'm really into eating junk these days. i need to stop or else i'll be a cow. so...i guess ill try not to eat any at lent...(are cookies junk?)

#3: SWEARING
~okaaaaay, i don't swear as much as other people....but i do swear. it get pretty abd when i'm spazzing at someone...or if i get mad or something like that. i need to stop...

#4: WALLY
~This o ne is like the hardest of all....i cannot give up a crush that easily. my other friends get over their crushes in a blink of an eye.... but mine kind of stays there for a while. I'm not only giving this up for lent. Well, i'm testing it out on lent....if i turn out to be emo & all depressed... then i will just have to deal with liking him. BUT, if it turn out well....i'll try to give him up for the rest of my elementary life until i like another guy....which is prolly going to be in highschool. I know it's going to be hard, but it's worth trying for. i mean, what have i got to lose?

i shud also give up sleeping late, but thats impossible.

Oh my, KOREAN <3

Okay..im reallybored...i'm supposed to be doing my work... but i dnt want to.

I've realized that i haven't been talking about my KOREAN OBSESSION.

it's not as bad as other people, but i'm pretty hooked on it. The first song i heard in korean was TELL ME by the WONDER GIRLS....My sister was playing it from her phone & i was so mad at her cuz it was so annoying and i couldn't understand it. but now, i love that song....along ith other songs from wonder girls...

Wonder girls wasn't the first kpop group that i liked. The first one that i liekd was SUPER JUNIOR. i still love this group. No matter what anybody says, no matter how many times my friends tell me shinee or big bang is better. SUPER JUNIOR IS #1 FOR ME.

Super Junior has 13 members in it's original group.

it has 4 sub groups.

I have a special crush on one of them.... his name is AIDEN LEE DONGHAE.

<--------- isn't he hot? ;)

i have so much more pictures of him... but i decided on this one...

ANYWAY... korean's arent the only asians i like... .

i also like taiwanese people, chinese, japanese, etc. (donghae just happens to be the best out of all of them)

i'm basically living the ASIAN LIFE.

if you ever see me in a buffet anywhere, you'll see sushi on my plate.

Me & my sister play asian music in our car even tho our parents spazz at us for doing so.

Some people think me & my friends are weird just cuz we like korean people...What's the matter with that ? So what if we like goodlooking guys with good personalities and talent? are you jealous?....

frankly, we dnt give a crap about anything you say... we'll like who we like without you people telling us what's right and wrong.

So, i've been talking so much about the famour koreans, i almost forgot my for real korean friends...

i have 6 in total. & im very proud if it.

3 of them i met in the interenet. we talk & stuff...

They're really nice.... 2 of them r girls & theres one boy...

the ones i know for real & actually went to the same school wen i was grade 5-7 are brothers.

Jason & Brian Kim.

I'm not that close to Jason..i dnt even think he remembers who i am... he's 3 years older thn me O_o

& Brian is my age.... he's too cool for anyone.

Before, he used to tease me about my height and call me a midget...while i tease him about his weight and call him a cow. LMFAO, those were the days...

Now, i can't tease him about his weight... cuz he's not a cow anymore...

But im still short...he stopped teasing me about my height tho... cuz he's nice now ^_^

Even though were in different schools, we seem closer than ever.

This guy is the cooliest.

He's one of my best guy friends.

Here's one of our conversations in msn :

(yes, he is my number one korean)

Okay, dnt get the wrong idea....he's just a friend...i'm actually helping him with this girl...

i think i just exposed him....lol.. but yah.... Anyway... i have to do my homework now

BYE.

I LOVE KOREANS !

Put yer records on (8)

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday.

LAAWL, i went to church with Steffi as usual ^_^
i'm bored....i'm supposed to be cleaning my room ... but im too lazy.

i got exposed AGAIN...by MEL...
Mel u suck if yer reading this.

Anyway... i realized that i lied to a couple of people about things...
& i'm really sorry...

i didn't really mean to lie to you, i just didn't want anyone to know...thts all....

but since you already know ... & prolly the whole school already knows...theres no reason to hide it. It's not that i don't trust you...it's just that i thought you would think i'm a freak... so, i'm really sorry.
i know how it feels when someone lies to you... it kills... & u feel like no one trusts you...
just so you know.... i TRUST YOU. you're probably the only one who wouldn't tell anyone about it, but it's not the nicest secret to know. soo.... i'm really sorry...
i can say sorry a MAJILLION times ... but i know i still lied to you... i carry around the guilt whenever i'm with you... from now on... I'M NEVER GONNA LIE ABOUT THAT ISSUE. it's gonna be hard...but i hve to deal with it.... it's better than carrying a million guilt stones on my back for lying about it. if anyone asks about it... i'm gonna say it straight up...

ANYWAY,

me & my mother were looking the course selection papers for my highschool.... & she wants me to take INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY IN BUSINESS.... but i wanna take INTEGRATED TECHNOLOGIES.

btw, i have no idea what integrated tech. is... cuz the info isn't on the book thing our guidance counselor gave us. it sounds interesting tho.... i have a thing for technology...

PLUS, i dnt wnna take music or art or drama...so ... i guess i'll take integrated tech.


OH, this week i rejected a guy & i think he took it haaaaard.
i'm really sorry ^_^
okay, no offence but i don't like him at all...and i never will... i don't think anyone will... People from my school probably know who i'm talking about... and yah...
i feel bad for the guy.... i mean he called me pretty ( IS HE BLIND?!?!?!?! ) & was trying to be nice to me ( BUT HE FAILED)

sooo yah... this blog is pretty loong.... i guess there was a lot to talk about .
oh and, HI TO MY NEW READER ^_^ ( You know who you are )
My entries are prolly boring you to death...but w/e.


see yah!..

OWWWW, my heart.

hello,

don't mind my title...

SHOUT OUT TO:

Pheobe (my friend from like 4 years ago^_^)

im really bored....
& we had the beach party dance today...
it was ok ....
except that no one was really dancing...
ohhhhhhh, & my friend's boyfriend was the DJ
and at one point in tha dance he was like "this goes out to my girlfriend"
and they danced together...
IT'S TOO CUTE!

anyway...

i got exposed, but what ever.

i gottah sleep (eeer, atleast try to).... GOO-BYE.

AAAGGGGHHHHH, i suck.

today was probably the funniest most stressed day EVER.

well, as you guys know.. i'm the queen of SLACKING...
so, these things were due today... and i didn't finish...so i had to be all stressed....cuz i dnt wanna lose 5% for everything i slacked off on.... i finished 2 out of 5 things...

DAMNIT.... tht means i gottah lose 15% of my grade average..... man, i suck...

i dnt care anymore tho, CUZ I GOT ACCEPTED TO MY HIGHSCHOOL CHOICE !

so , i dnt gottah work that hard to get the highest grade EVER... i'm so happy...
i can't really tell you what highschool im going to...cuz you mite stalk me (jks)

well, anyway... after all the stressing in class....
we had basketball.....
LMFAO
okay, i feel really bad for myself... we had to dribble (i suck at it) and my teacher was taping it...
& we had to do a lay up.... okay... my first one was fine... but i missed )=
then my second one hit the damn rim and it went straight back to me... i tried to shield myself.... you kno the brace position?... yah i did tht .... but it hit my back still & that was on tape >_>

man, the guys in my class were like laughing hysterically...
i was completely embarrassed..yet i was laughing at myself, cuz it actually was funny.... i couldn't blame them for laughing.. i mean i looked like an idiot.. so yah ^_^

the grad pics are tmrw.. i mite take a pic of myself to show you guys wat i look like ....
ANYWAY, i still have to cram, so BYEE !

VALENTINE'S DAY! <3

HII!,

Today was better than expected! well, i borrowed the twins... (2 days & 1 night) & steffi helped me babysit... i think i finished my community service, but i wanna do some more....i wanna volunteer in this senior home near my place.

ANYWAY, i dnt lyk wally anymore... well, i still do... but i dnt see any reason for me to like him anymore...so wut i'm saying is...that.. I'M GONNA STOP LIKING HIM.

& btw, i already have this other guy in mind... i saw him at church once or twice... i have NO CLUE what his name is, but he's really goodlooking....


YES, i am a shallow person.... but i'm only shallow in the beginning. if they're goodlooking with a rotten attitude, FORGET ABOUT IT.

well, i'ma get some sleep now.... cuz .... the babies didn't give me and sleeping time yesterday night..


K BYEE !

5 more days...

hi,... you might get confused by my title... i am NOT counting down the days 'till valentine's day.
i'm counting down the days until my agony ends.
Since Valentine's Day is coming up... i am always stressed of what will happen.

*will WALLY ask me out?
*how many candy-o-grams should i buy?
*will i give a confession letter to WALLY?
*will WALLY give me one?
*am gonna get a lot of candy?
*will i be the only one that's lonely...on the day of love?

OH MY GOSH, and on top of that.... there's lots of homework, projects, chores, and crap to be done. I'm currently taking a break from my CAREER PROJECT, which is due tmrw... (i havent even typed up anyting)

It's all piling up into a big lump of CRAP on my damn shoulders... i can't handle this anymore.... once February 14 ends.... i think i'll be ok.
I know it's one of my favourite holidays.... but it's hard to celebrate it when the one you love doesn't really love you back. I think that's why i can't concentrate riite now.

sometimes... i just wanna shout out

I LOVE YOU! LOVE ME BACK, WILL YOU?

But, i keep it all in... besides... if i do that... WALLY will think im a freak and move FARTHER AWAY FROM ME.

& sometimes...i just wanna give up on the guy. I mean 10 months of WALLY will really get tiring, but it's easier to say than to do. i once tried to not talk about him ... and a second after.... i was talking to my friend about him.. i think it's better if i let it fade away on it's own, than forcing it to just go away.

Ya kno, the last time i tried that... i ended you liking a guy for 2 years... and reailzing he was such a HUGE WASTE OF TIME. He was 3 years older than me (wooooooow, i have nice taste...) & i thought he was really cute and he lived in the same apartment building as me ^_^

i always used to try and go in the same elevator with him....(STALKER MOVEMENT) lol....i was grade 5 tho... so i didnt know any better... He's what you call...my.. "FIRST MAJOR CRUSH"

And you can't forget those things.... OH, & once ... last year in the summer... i saw him in the mall...

i was with my friend STEFFI & LOUISE...

When i saw him .... my mouth dropped... i was hyper and frekaing out like a maniac.

then he came up to me ...he invited me to this church thing... (he's christian...which is a turn off to me :P) and then he was like, "Do i know you from somewhere?..you look familiar." ......WAAAAABOOOOOOSSSHHHH! There goes my heart. in my head i was like he remembers me? He actually paid attention to what i look like?.... What the hell?

TOTAL coinsidence, that on the same day that i saw my FIRST MAJOR CRUSH in the mall....something awesome happened between me and WALLY. >_<

That sounds wrong... but it actually isn't... but just by thinking about it... is giving me butterflies.

I really dont wanna expose myself on the internet... so i'll keep what happened to myself (&some poeple that were there with us)

That was the day that i was like, "Okay...I'm in love with this guy & nobody can stop me"

Depressed?

...I have no idea why... but i seem so down today...
K, so i was sitting in my regualr seat...& my friends were dancing to NOBODY by the WONDERGIRLS.. & i usually jump in and dance with them.. but instead.. i continued to do my work...(which is totally not me)!!
Then suddenly... i thought to myself, 'Why in the world am i acting like this?' .... I'm seriously never like that. i didn't feel like doing anything.... not even smiling. I'm the noisy type of girl, but today...it was as if my mouth was stitched together & my tongue was cut off... i barely talked. Some times i get cranky and all, but this is different. i was a total BITCH to everyone who tlked to me.
& in gym... I didn't play basketball.... i mean.. i wanted to play... I kno i suck and all.. but i always play. But today, something just stopped me. Some gut feeling made me not want to get up and carry an orange ball. while walking home.... here were some of my theories for my sudden depression :

*i slept really late last night.
*we didnt finish out Romeo and juliet movie yet.
*i'm sick
*today was boring
*or some other reason.

After i got home, i watched TV and ate the last 2 pieces of FFTG....after that... i usually sleep... but the same old GUT FEELING stopped me from doing it. what the heck ?!... this is the first time this has happened to me... I thought about it more... and realized.... that the reasons i thought of when i was walking home made no sense what so ever in what was happeing to me. I thought of the real reason of this DEPRESSION thing... and realized that i've been thinking about wally lately.
As most of you people know, i like wally.... & i think he's the reson why i'm acting this way.
Wally and i haven't had a proper conversation since.... I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER ANYMORE!
basically it was a long time ago. & now .. we just have those small talks ... like:

Selene: hi
Wally: hi
Selene:...soooo,
Wally:sooo,
(Wally logs off)

aaarrrgghhhh, actaully, i'm lucky to even have those conversations. i barely talk to him anymore... & i think that's what makes me sick. i need to talk to him..
it's my cure to this anxiety attack.... And you know, this didn't just start today. i think it was 2 days ago.... i found myself in the washroom....i puposely locked myself in there.... it's the only room in the house that ican lock everyone out of. (besides my parents' bedroom) ..... & while i was there sitting on the floor of the washroom... all i could think of was WALLY.

WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY

That was the only thing that went through my mind. & actaully .... it never left my mind eversince.

this is killing me.... i seriously don't know what to do about this.

oh my,

i think i'll just lock myself in the washroom again... and think about how i can get this feeling out of my system.

)=

02.03.09

GOOD EVENING!

hii (= so, i'm really bored......& i decided to write things here...since i haven't been writing for a couple of months.

UHHMM, you kno what's weird?.... i'm coaching the GIRLS' JUNIOR BASKETBALL TEAM yet i'm not on the actaul intermediate team... i find it very weird. Anyway...

We had gym today and Mr. martin filmed us dancing & doing our basketball shots.
okay, as all of you know... I SUCK AT BASKETBALL. Well, i'm not that horrible, but i don't wanna play seriously in class. Especially infront of the guys. Cuz wen i try my hardest at something...and i end up messing up or failing... people will laugh at me. especially the guys in MY class. && one of my greatest fears is embarrassment. so, thats the reason i slack off in gym. But the dance thing went pretty good ^_^ Kristin is my partner since the guys were too wuss to ask the girls. So, basically, guys dance with guys...and girls dance with girls.

After school, i just slept... im SUCH a lazy bum. oh, & i ate these things called 'FOOD FOR THE GODS'
(F.F.T.G.) it's this brownie type of thing... but it's not chocolate. It has dates, walnuts, and other good things!.. i LOVE it. it's frekaing good.... but i can only eat it at home....cuz canada just has to have people who are allergic to NUTS. GOOSH..

I'm watching this anime.... it's really sad. ill tell you guys the summary of the whole thing wen i finish watching it. i only have like 4 more episodes to watch... so yah...

k, imma watch it now... & imma get some FFTG for me to snack on...

BUH-BYE!!

roooo-MHUURS.

Hello, to the few ppl who read my blog ^_^



Well, i recently found out that ppl actually go to this particular blog and READ things..



Okay, so it's been pretty long since wrote things... there's lots that have been happening... and OH,

HAPPY NEW YEAR

that was pretty late, but okay. My pnew year was hella boring! I just stayed home and ate food. No fireworks, no parties, no relatives what so ever... So anyway, another holiday is coming up.... one of my most aniticipated ones...

VALNETINE'S DAY <3

You peple are probably wondering if i HAVE a valentine already...the answer is NO. a BIG FAT NO. yes, it's true. i don't have anyone to share VALENTINE'S DAY with. there's my friends & family, but i don't have a significant person...i kno, it's sad.

Okay, do you guys remember WALLY? if you guys don't know him...try visiting my old post called "HELP!"

i think i mentioned him in the 2nd or 3rd paragraph.

okay, so.... i like him again... ^_^ i really can't stop.... in my other posts, i have obviously been trying to get over him, but the methods i used only worked for like a couple of days...and i'm back to liking him again..... he's like a freaking DRUG, maaan. My friend, Mark, told me these things that wally said. Mark said that wally likes me and crap like that.....i know i like him and all, but i couldn't help but laugh wen Mark told me tht. theres like a 0% chance of that RUMOUR being tru. I barely talk to the guy nowadays... so how the heck is it possible that he likes me? But then again....Mark is a good friend. He's either just messing with me or someone else told him about it. Either way, i still won't know the truth....ther's this other rumour that i like this guy called ranier. Ranier is a really really really really good friend to me. We text, we call each other on the phone, and we tlk to each other on msn. But we don't like each other that way. People are saying tht were flirting and crap... but thts not the case. I LOVE HIM. but not like that. i love him as a big brother, a bestfriend, or a cousin. I mean is it wrong to be close to guy without liking him now?.... is it illegal? ............HOLY CRAP!

rumours make me sick. If you're also affected by rumours,

make a blog about it...and tell me by commenting (=