What happened?

This entry is to written to my former bestfriend...

Although i know you probably wouldn't be able to read this...

i just don't have the balls to say it to you up front.

plus, i can never get a hold of you anymore.

so uhhmm....

you've changed.

not like you've grown a couple of inches or gotten a boyfriend change...but

more drastic.

On the bus ride to school...in grade 5

we were jamming to Hilary duff songs...

we were stalking our crushes that were 3 years older than us...

you were sleeping over at my house like every week.

we were BEST FRIENDS.

and we were innocent.

i guess I'm still that same loser, but you've clearly moved off of that phase.

As a teenager who has like a million friends (obviously a joke)

the only way i can be updated with your life is through facebook...

and as i go through your profile...

i thought i was reading someone else's statuses and posts...

i mean..

your pictures are...

how do i say this delicately...

promiscuous.

you have your middle finger up..

you show pictures of you smoking...

and other shit that i really can't deal with.

maybe i have no right to tell you to stop, and i get that...

but what the hell happened?...

i feel like if i didn't move to a different school and stayed with you, you wouldn't be so rebellious.

I feel like shit for leaving you.

and now you're a slut. and it's funny cuz you even admit it.

i like being a loser with you..

i hate this selfish, smoker girl who shows off her boobs and ass and middle finger that you've become.

i don't know what else to say.

really.

i miss you, jelly.

please come back.