Frustrated

I've been extremely frustrated these days. 

Mostly about myself and my life. Like what am I doing? All I been doing is work& sleep. 

Sometimes I think yea that's how life is: you work and sleep and work to sleep and sleep to work. 

But shouldn't I be having fun? 

I am 18. Shouldn't I be wildin' out? 

Shouldn't I be making poor life choices? 

Because when else would I make those? 

Ugh. 

Also another thing that frustrates me is my status. Hey hello I'm single. And 90% of the time I enjoy it & I am fine with it.

Ok but there's the 10% of me that actually gets lonely. That 10% kind of wants someone to hug and kiss her other than her dog. Idk 

I mean.................I haven't met anyone who is up to my standards.....but then again, if I do meet someone that meets all my expectations, would I meet theirs?

I am mediocre at best. 

I am not drop dead gorgeous. Ok I admit. 

I am not the skinniest.

I am not the prettiest.

I am not the tallest or palest. 

I am not the most reserved or smartest. 

But wtf am I supposed to do? 

Lower my standards & settle? 

I was always taught not to settle. 

Never settle. Know what you want, and get what you want. That's what my dad told me. 

I want to think someone out there will love me as much as I love them. 

I wanna believe "the one" is out there somewhere. 

But. Is he really? 

Idk. 

But if he is, can he hurry & show up in my life already lol

I'm gettin lonely up in this joint.