K, so i was sitting in my regualr seat...& my friends were dancing to NOBODY by the WONDERGIRLS.. & i usually jump in and dance with them.. but instead.. i continued to do my work...(which is totally not me)!!
Then suddenly... i thought to myself, 'Why in the world am i acting like this?' .... I'm seriously never like that. i didn't feel like doing anything.... not even smiling. I'm the noisy type of girl, but today...it was as if my mouth was stitched together & my tongue was cut off... i barely talked. Some times i get cranky and all, but this is different. i was a total BITCH to everyone who tlked to me.
& in gym... I didn't play basketball.... i mean.. i wanted to play... I kno i suck and all.. but i always play. But today, something just stopped me. Some gut feeling made me not want to get up and carry an orange ball. while walking home.... here were some of my theories for my sudden depression :
*i slept really late last night.
*we didnt finish out Romeo and juliet movie yet.
*i'm sick
*today was boring
*or some other reason.
After i got home, i watched TV and ate the last 2 pieces of FFTG....after that... i usually sleep... but the same old GUT FEELING stopped me from doing it. what the heck ?!... this is the first time this has happened to me... I thought about it more... and realized.... that the reasons i thought of when i was walking home made no sense what so ever in what was happeing to me. I thought of the real reason of this DEPRESSION thing... and realized that i've been thinking about wally lately.
As most of you people know, i like wally.... & i think he's the reson why i'm acting this way.
Wally and i haven't had a proper conversation since.... I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER ANYMORE!
basically it was a long time ago. & now .. we just have those small talks ... like:
Selene: hi
Wally: hi
Selene:...soooo,
Wally:sooo,
(Wally logs off)
aaarrrgghhhh, actaully, i'm lucky to even have those conversations. i barely talk to him anymore... & i think that's what makes me sick. i need to talk to him..
it's my cure to this anxiety attack.... And you know, this didn't just start today. i think it was 2 days ago.... i found myself in the washroom....i puposely locked myself in there.... it's the only room in the house that ican lock everyone out of. (besides my parents' bedroom) ..... & while i was there sitting on the floor of the washroom... all i could think of was WALLY.
WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY WALLY
That was the only thing that went through my mind. & actaully .... it never left my mind eversince.
this is killing me.... i seriously don't know what to do about this.
oh my,
i think i'll just lock myself in the washroom again... and think about how i can get this feeling out of my system.
)=
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