na na na boo boo

hi,

well....for the last 3 dasy i've been very very sick...
my mother thought it was SWINE FLU, but it was just ordinary flu.
im so pissed at myself.
Do you guys ever have that feeling when you're mad at yourself for some stupid reason...but at that moment that particular reason is the WORLD to you? that's my deal right now.

im having so much probelms with my life physically, emotionally, mentally, and so on.

PHYSICALLY because....well... im fat. LOL
i even had this dream some night this week that my ass grew bigger than a house -_- wtf...... it's such a pain. why can't i be skinny like them?... wtf do they eat to stay that skinny? .... howcome im like the fatest one here? these are the stupid questions i ask myself all the time. & im really sick of it. whenevr ppl tell me "oh yer not fat!" i respect you & i thank you for saying that, but face it, i AM FAT. it's also one of the reasons i haven't gotten a dress yet for graduation. it's like 12 days from now & i still dont have a damn dress. nothing can hide ALL my imperfections. if there was, it's would be long sleeved & it would be very very very very very long with a mask to go with it cuz my face is an imperfection itself. my height, my weight, my EVERYTHING... just has to go wrong. screw this. i wanna say i dont care, but i care a LOT. i care about this more than my grades .... which might be a problem.



OKAY, cross all of the fat business out.
my emotions are mixed... well.... idc about _____ anymore. wtf, ofcourse i do. but like it seems like i cant anymore. what im trying to say is that.... too much ppl care already & my portion isn't really necessary anymore. i mean, i CAN care but it's not even noticable to _____ . so there's no point.

Oh man, life continues to fail my expectations... even though my expectations arent even that high.

i shall try to enjoy it.
GOODBYE :]