Starting over is soo hard.

have you ever had tht feeling when the person you love the most
is trying to phase you out of their life?

i sortah have that.
Wen you love someone,
you will do whatever it takes to make them happy, right?
no matter how much it hurts, right?

well, im having those really vain moments right now thts preventing me from doing the right thing.
the hurt is too much for me
i can't just start over like that...
it had gone too far for me to try and forget about it.

it's like running 10k
and trying to jump all the way back to the starting line...
with ONE leap.
impossible.

it's really hard for me.
i wanna deal with it,
and help you
and do what's best.

but something is stopping me.
i miss you SO much.
like, it's not evn funny.
do you miss me?...
i doubt it.
theres hardly anything to miss, right?
i mean... besides my mood swings, my idioticness, my randomness, and stupidity...
what's left to miss?

i really hope you understand,
that you're really special to me.
and it's pretty impossible to think of you just as a random person...
when you have my heart in your hands.