O_o

there's nothing else i can say.

WOW, so this turned into a complete fucking disaster.

i vent out all my feelings to one person,

then they tell you cuz they apparently 'care about me'.

...and then i turn out to the bitch who started shit.

Mmhhhmmm, cuz life fucking loves me.

since telling someone else how i really feel started this whole bonanza,

i kinda of have to talk to you and straighten everything out.

and i want to.

ONE PROBLEM:

talking to you about real shit is the one thing i have been avoiding since our 'break up'

Mostly everyone i asked for advice told me that talking to you IN PERSON would be best...

i totally agree with them

but honestly,

im too much of a wuss to talk to you in person.

i mean, i cant even look at you

cuz doing so brings up memories that im pretty sure i shouldn't be remembering.

i'll be completely honest with you, and say that i did try to phase you out of my life..

and im coming off a a hypocrite because i dont want YOU to phase ME out of you life.

and thts what kindah started this situation...

i thought you were mad at me and i felt like u were phasing me out cuz you dont even tlk to me anymore.

not even a hi.

just so you know, my whole plan of forgetting you didnt exactly work out.

it's physically impossible for me to phase out someone i see every damn day.

and is related to every damn thing i see.

Maybe to you it's easy, but i just can't do it.

i cannot hold grudges...of all people, you should know that.

well, i just wanted to clear out the fact that i didnt mean to 'talk shit'

if you consider what i did 'talking shit'

i just wanted to know if you were mad at me cuz you barely even consider my existence anymore.

the cut-eye thing..lemme explain:

i told Haran that sometimes i feel like you you give me cut-eye...i also said that it was probably me just being paranoid. we even made a joke about it saying that i might've thought you gave me cut-eye, but it's actually just your chinky eyes.

i didnt mean it to be serious...

i mean.... i didnt want it to sound like "oh he hates me and he's a jerk cuz he gave me cut-eye"

honeslty, what i wanted to say was far from that.

im sorry if it came across the wrong way...

i should've made things more clear with Haran..

and just for the record,

i have no intention of talking shit about you.

im just not that type of person.

sorry again.